I didn't know life could feel like this

It's officially been a month since my surgery and I honestly could not feel more amazing. For the past 6 years, every time I ate anything or went to the bathroom my stomach hurt. I can proudly say I have not had one stomach ache in the past 4 days. I don't remember the last time I felt like this. If anyone reading this is considering having resection surgery or considering taking Entyvio, I would say do it. I have no idea how long feeling this good will last but I would pick 5 amazing days over 6 crappy years any day.

This was two weeks after surgery, my incisions don't look too bad right?!

Last week I had my third Entyvio infusion post surgery. No side effects or reactions. I noticed a positive change right away. Thank god! I know many have had successes on this treatment but I also know that many have failed on this medicine as well. Doesn't it suck that one medicine can't treat all? Not fair. I am just enjoying every good day I have, one day at a time.

These past months, I've also had to do a lot of soul searching. This disease is isolating. Whether we like it or not. It tests my patience and it also tests the patience of the people in your life. You feel lonely, a lot of the time. Sometimes you have to miss out on big events, fun times, and just everyday life. The worst feeling is when people you thought would be by your side through it all, just leave. Without a word or explanation. I can't help to sometimes think that it was my fault. Maybe everything that comes along with Crohn's was too much for them to handle? Maybe I was not trying hard enough? But then I remember that I was fighting for my life. I had a battle to win and goddammit I was going to be triumphant. For once in my life, I had to be selfish. I didn't have time to worry about what was going on in the outside world. I had no time to worry about if people weren't being truthful to me. All my energy for the past 5 months has been focused on myself...getting myself healthy again. It was painful and the hardest thing I've ever had to do. After this experience, I've realized that everyday is a precious gift. You have no idea what is going to happen tomorrow. With that being said, I have made a promise to myself that I will not waste any one of my good days being sad about things I can't control. This disease is literally the worst but it has shown me who "my people" are. It has given me a sense of confidence I didn't have before. If you are fighting this disease and have had experiences such as this, you are not alone and it's okay to be selfish. It's okay to listen to your body and do what you need to do to make yourself feel better. It's okay. 

               

The other night, my co-workers, actually my friends, okay actually my second family made a dinner to celebrate the little fact that I could eat again. It was the most thoughtful thing anyone has done for me in a long time. We got to celebrate life together, and that was amazing. 

Food and Fellowship, life's simplest pleasures 

I end this post with another quote. If you haven't noticed yet, I love my quotes. Not only does this blog help me vent and process my thoughts but I hope that is able to help someone else. Even it if helps just one person, that is worth it for me. 

Cheers to life! 

-Steph